Six weeks ago we found out that we were expecting. We were happy - I felt like I was finally going to have the "big" family I've always wanted (not sure why 6 is the magic number for that but... :D).
We didn't tell anybody because we never do, haha, not even the kids. It was a strange few weeks - I had sporadic and strange nausea, unlike any I've had in previous pregnancies. At 7 weeks Jaron did an ultrasound to check the dates and we came up with a due date of October 15.
On Monday of this week, I got finished working out and found that I was bleeding. It wasn't heavy bleeding so according to the internet it could have or have not been a miscarriage. I felt mildly crampy like a period and had some low back aches. On Wednesday morning, the bleeding picked up and I knew it was happening. It took about 2 hours of physical intenseness and then it was over.
It was as a friend said it would be - a wave of emotions. I felt sad. I felt relieved (With 5 healthy pregnancies and no miscarriages yet, I've felt for years that my number was coming! I'm the only one I know with this many pregnancies who hasn't had a miscarriage.). I felt strange that this was a sad thing happening to me that almost nobody knew about.
But now it's documented. It's happened. It's sad. It's common and therefore kind of expected.
I'm more grateful than ever for my healthy kids. :)
2 comments:
I don't think it matters if it's pregnancy # 1 or pregnancy #6 - a loss is cause for grief and I'm sorry you're going through this!
I'm sure it does give you more gratitude for all the healthy pregnancies you have had though. I have one friend that has 6 children - and she's had 5 miscarriages. ( some of which were quite later on in her second term.)
Pretty crazy (and interesting) how individual our trials are.
I love you and hope you are feeling Heavenly Father's love.
Hugs from me here in SoAB!
I am so so sorry for your loss. Love you guys bunches.
Post a Comment