Faith

In the night, I lay awake listening to little man's heart struggle (we really need to name him, huh?) and, emotional and tired, I started thinking about all the frustrations this has brought and mentally racking them up for a blog post today.

Then this morning I opened the magazine I brought full of messages from leaders in our Church from last October's General Conference.  The first article I read happened to be about faith and it brought me to tears and to my knees.

Elder Marcas B. Nash of the Quorum of the Seventy told a story about hiking in the mountains of Peru on a steep trail with a metal handrail.  The handrail had been put there after several hikers lost their lives over the steep edge.  Elder Nash likened the need for this handrail to the need we have for Heavenly Father's guidance in this mortal existence.  Elder Nash also used the story of the Apostle Peter, who walked on water toward the Savior until he doubted and became afraid and started to sink.  He warned that doubt and fear act as distractions from and underminers of faith. 

I realized that I've from time to time let myself sink into fear and doubts lately and, while it hasn't zapped my faith, it has made it difficult to see beyond the fear and doubts.  We still have no idea how this whole process is going to work out and it's sometimes really hard to have patience. No matter the outcome, though, I'm glad to have faith to get me through it!

We had another ultrasound today.  Baby's heart has been up for the last 51 hours straight.  The baby had more fluid accumulation but not as much as the doctor thought would be there, given how long he's been at a high bpm.  We got some 4D pictures of his sweet little face and it is just precious!  Hopefully we'll know in the next day or two that this drug is working!